Just Saying

Talk it over

August 31st, 2026

A few months ago, I let a text from a friend upset me. I got mad and decided not to contact the friend until she contacted me first. This lasted from the beginning of May until just last week. During that time, although I thought about her, I allowed my stubbornness to have its way and didn’t reach out at all.

Last week, the last full week in August, I ran into her at a meetup at Panera Bread. After talking around each other, we got into it. She was hurt and thought I’d done something that I hadn’t done. I was mad because she made comments that I felt were about me. When all was said and done, we both got our feelings out and realized that it was lack of talking to each other (communication) that kept us apart all summer. It’s good that we have cleared the air, but I wonder why we didn’t do it earlier. I know that I dug my heels in and refused to talk after I got angry. Not sure what kept her from reaching out.

My point is that we get so caught up in negative feelings and give into those feelings, meanwhile time is passing by. I realize now that a stupid misunderstanding kept us from sharing positive memories together this summer. It’s too late for Summer 2026, but thankfully we are both healthy and can continue to make memories in Fall. I’ll try to make sure that I take time to reach out and talk before assuming and reacting negatively going forward. I realize that friendships and time are so precious.
Celebrating mom’s birthday

July 31st, 2026

I’ve just settled in after an amazing evening. My mom, sister and I enjoyed listening to an Afro-Cuban jazz band under the stars at the Hudson River Museum Amphitheater. This was our second to last stop. The Main Street Sweets in Tarrytown completed our day out celebrating my mom’s 86^th birthday.

It was a, dare I say, perfect day. Weather was beautiful. My sister was off from work for the day. We spoiled my mother from breakfast straight on through. We are fortunate that mom is in good health and mind and still moving around on her own. We’re thankful for her having had another trip around the sun.

Happy Birthday Mom!
Getting comfortable with the uncomfortable

June 30th, 2026

I, like most people, try to remain in a comfortable space. When you find yourself in uncomfortable spaces, we try to get out as quickly as possible. What happens when you can’t?

Very recently, I found myself sharing a room with a friend. I usually travel with family members who are as used to my quirks as I am with theirs. This would be a completely different experience.

I like sleeping with a little bit of light so I can see where I’m going should I get up in the middle of the night. She liked the room completely dark. I typically stay up reading in bed until almost midnight. She promptly turns the lights out at 10:00. I’m a germaphobe and light clean the bed and room before touching anything. She was walking around barefoot on the carpeted floor. There were many more differences. I decided to embrace the differences and not cause unnecessary discussions, arguments and such.

The result: after almost two weeks, I found myself making subtle changes to what I did or giving in more to her different routines. My routines were all shook up but I was still thriving in this new “normal”. I feel like going forward I’ll be able to adapt better to different and uncomfortable situations. Just don’t ask me to give up spraying my natural “Lysol” to sanitize things – it’s not happening!!!!!
Not the Castor Oil of your childhood

May 31st, 2026

Castor oil has made a comeback. Back in the day, it was used as a laxative, and you’d ingest it because your mother made you! Today there are so many more health benefits to this oil.

Castor oil is a thick vegetable oil that is made from the seeds of the castor plant. Historically, it was used as a beauty tool. Supposedly Cleopatra used it to brighten the whites of her eyes. It has vitamin E, omega-9 and omega-6 fatty acids. The primary active ingredient is a fatty acid called ricinoleic acid, which is an omega-9 fatty acid.

Needing to use essential oils – castor oil can cause them to go deeper into the skin. Using it as a carrier oil, it goes beyond the top layer of your skin into the tissues. Therapeutically, this can be helpful and is where a castor oil pack comes in handy. A castor oil pack is a less messy way of potentially detoxifying your body and reducing inflammation.

Regularly using castor oil can also help with hair growth. Many use on their eyebrows and eyelashes. It nourishes the hair follicles and enhances circulation. This can successfully be done with an eye compress while you sleep. Using this compress can balance melatonin and help you naturally have deeper sleep.

Castor oil can still be used if you are constipated. It is suggested that instead of ingesting, that a castor oil pack be used. It is just as effective and doesn’t have the potential cramps that ingesting can sometimes cause.

Some other uses include balancing hormones, balancing the microbiome, natural pain reliever, wrinkle reducer, and as an antioxidant for eye health.

Take another look at castor oil. It’s a great tool in your wellness toolkit!!!
Can’t wait until….

April 30th, 2026

Why does it seem that we spend so much of our time wishing for something else? When we were kids, we couldn’t wait until we were tall enough to be able to ride the roller coasters. Then when we were teens, we couldn’t wait until we could drive. As we got older, we couldn’t wait until we could get a job and earn our own money to get the things we wanted. Now when we’ve been working a while, we can’t wait until retirement so we can wake up when we want and finally be free to do whatever we want. But maybe that’s just me?

I’ve been looking back at times in the past and wishing that I could go back and relive them. I’m trying to slow down and make sure that I enjoy where I am in life now. It’s difficult when things are going poorly but I believe it’s worth it in the long run. I’m hoping I get to a ripe old age and can look back and smile at memories along the way. Not regretting that I rushed through experiences trying to get to the next one. Life is a series of good and bad events and it’s important to move through the events at a pace that works positively for you so you can enjoy the rhythm of your life.
It’s your life, you get to choose!

March 31st, 2026

When making decisions, it’s perfectly fine to ask for advice from friends and family. What’s not okay is when those friends or family are upset when your actions differ from the advice they gave you. We are not obligated to do what someone else suggests we do. AND we don’t HAVE to explain ourselves and our decisions to anyone. It’s our one and only life to live. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, as my dad used to say, do as you please.

When friends ask me for advice, I give it to them and move on. That’s how I believe it should be dealt with. They can make their own decisions and share or not share. If I ask what they decided, if it’s different that what I said I do not attack or berate them. They are free to live their lives as they see fit. I say all of this to say, it’s your life and you get to choose how you live it. Advice is fine, but don’t let people guilt you into doing what they feel is best for you. You’re the only one that knows what’s best for you!
Say what you mean and mean what you say!

February 28th, 2026

What are we teaching people when we say one thing but do another? When you say you’re not going to lend people money, but you allow them to convince you to lend them some. When you say you’re going to stop drinking because alcohol is making you sick, but they pressure you to continue to go out for happy hours. When family members or supposed friends make you feel small, ridiculed or worse, but you still hang out with them and allow the behavior.

Matthew 5:37 tells us “But let your ‘yes’ mean ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’ mean ‘no.’” In other words, we need to say what we mean and then people need to respect what we said even If they don’t agree or like it. If we allow others to cajole us into changing our minds and then secretly resent it, it’s really our own fault. If I know I am financially unstable currently and I allow friends/family to convince me to go on a trip, I have no one to blame except for myself when I come back and I am strapped.

We only get this one life to live and as long as we aren’t hurting anyone (including ourselves) we should live it truthfully.
Going Natural – Part 2

January 31st, 2026

In 2014, I was having issues with applying hair relaxers to my hair. I was using a kiddie “perm” to straighten my hair and was having to reapply every 3-4 weeks. I had my hairdresser checking to make sure that eczema breakouts were not occurring. Even with that, my hair texture was changing and I was experiencing breakage. In 2015, I decided to leave all of the problems behind and go for the big chop. I had all my permed hair cut off and started wearing my hair naturally. My 4C hair was very coarse and hard to manage but I dealt with it.

Fast forward to 2025, I was struggling to keep my natural curls and style them comfortably. I always felt like the work I was doing on my hair was not represented in the look that I had at the end. My hair would be beautifully styled while wet and after sitting under the hair dryer but would be a clumped together mess when I woke up in the morning. It was very discouraging and no matter how much I read about styling my hair and using different products, I always lacked results. I got braids put in my hair in January 2025 until I could figure out what to do next. The hairdresser started telling me about locs and how my hair would be perfect for it. I asked lots of questions and researched online. In February 2025, I got instant locs. It’s been a smooth and wonderful journey, and my hair is finally performing the way it was meant to. A year later my hair has almost completely locked and I love it!!! I finally have confidence in how my hair looks on a consistent basis.
Reflections of 2025

December 31st, 2025

I’m sitting here looking back over the year as many do. I’m seeing all the changes, good and bad, and trying to come to grips with them in my mind. It’s been a YEAR!!!! I almost feel like since I’ve gotten older, the years are getting more difficult to get through. There are more deaths that take my breath away. There are more challenges that seem to take so much more energy to beat. I have so many friends and acquaintances and life seems so full at times, yet I’m sitting here alone on New Year’s Eve. How do I make sense of all of this?

Life is ever changing. The only consistency is change. I’m learning to sit and enjoy the moments while I’m in them…. knowing that everything could change in a breath. I’ve experienced a lot of loss and deaths but I’m still here. I can still experience more. I can (and should) take a piece of every occasion and move forward with anticipation and wonder. A marvelous merging of past and present making a delightful future.

At the end of the day, keep moving forward. Nothing can be gained by standing still and being stagnant. It’s the only way to grow!
Wonderfully Eclectic Thanksgiving

November 30th, 2025

I ended up hosting Thanksgiving dinner for my mom, sister, two friends and a friend of one of my friends. This was not a planned event. I was planning to have a quiet, relaxing day with my family, but I was persuaded to host when friends had no place to go.

In my past, I’ve hosted many parties, barbecues, etc. that involved so much preparation, cleaning, shopping, etc. Since I lived with someone that didn’t really socialize, I gave it all up and only had very small, casual get-togethers.   This would be my first in over 20 years and I would have “mixed” company which I try to never do. (I try to have people that know each other and have common interests together)

I tried my hand at spatchcocking the turkey and my sister made a new recipe for mac ‘n’ cheese. Both were hits! Everyone brought something that meant something to them, which created a very diverse and non-traditional menu but somehow everything worked together.   We also drank Mead for the first time together.

After dinner, we played several rounds of No Mercy Uno and Bananagrams. Games were new to all of us which also added to the evening. Conversation flowed easily over 80’s and 90’s music, television, commercials and more.

I say all of this to say that my very Type A self-had a great time. I was apprehensive beforehand, but it all turned out great without my turning myself into a wreck worrying about every little detail. As a matter of fact, numbers were exchanged and further meetups are being planned.   Sometimes when you relinquish your imaginary control, the best times are had, and you can make new connections to people.   And, isn’t that what it’s all about anyhow?